Little bit by Heather Taylor-Johnson

Writing the true account of an abusive childhood must be so difficult, in this case a retelling by the the author of her mother Debbie’s life growing up emotionally rejected and neglected by her single parent Stella. However with this book Taylor-Johnson has not only enabled a cathartic release of memories, but has managed to balance the appalling recounts with an uplifting tribute to Debbie’s resilience and sense of humour. Debbie may have been a ‘Little bit’ but she comes across as an incredibly resourceful and optimistic character who manages to break the cycle of abuse.

Taylor-Johnson’s approach is a prudent one; she breaks down the story into alternating chapters from three different voices, her own as Heather writing the book, her mother Debbie, and her grandmother ‘Stella’. Heather leaves her family at home in Australia to undertake a writer’s residency in America, and undertakes the task of working through Debbie’s recordings of her childhood memories. This strategy of including her own voice as writer provides an opportunity for reflections on her mother’s experience and also to consider episodes that don’t actually make it into Debbie’s memoir. It’s an interesting insight into the dilemmas that a writer encounters about what to include and what not to include, and even how to end the book.

Then there is Stella’s voice. This is a fictionalised representation as Stella is dead, she can’t speak for herself. And while there is no good side, no happy memories that Debbie is able to contribute for these parts of the book, Taylor-Johnson does manage to invoke, if not empathy, at least some insight into what may have contributed to Stella’s behaviour. Without the alternating voices of Heather and Stella, the account of Debbie’s childhood could well have been too disturbing to countenance for the duration of the novel. The chapters are short, and move quickly between the voices, so it is easy to keep reading.

There are episodes that will stay in your mind: the little girl left alone in an apartment for a week, a tray of lasagne meant to last her for that time, and then the image of her trekking through the dark and cold to check on her mother in hospital. But the bleakness is countered by the irrepressible spirit of a child who is incredibly resourceful; she smiles and laughs and sees the funny side of things. She is popular at school, she loves music, she’s clever and makes a life for herself, and she eventually finds the love she deserves. She may have been a ‘little bit’ but she was the little bit that Stella couldn’t have lived without.

Taylor-Johnson’s book is a loving tribute to a woman who has endured, survived and succeeded. While Debbie never had the love and care she wanted from her mother, clearly her relationship with her daughter is one to be proud of.

Themes: Child abuse, Neglect, Alcoholism, Resilience.

Helen Eddy