I'm not really here by Gary Lonesborough

Starting out in a new school is never easy, but even more difficult for Jonah, the fat gay Aboriginal kid who has never had a real friendship group, and who is choked with grief over the death of his mother. His father has finally gathered himself together and moved Jonah and his younger twin brothers to a new home in the town of Patience, closer to old friends and family. Jonah takes tentative steps to overcome the ‘New Kid’ label in school by starting a conversation with the edgy girl with purple hair, and signing up for the football team to be closer to Harley the athletic guy he has a crush on.

Lonesborough’s writing style is plain and matter-of-fact, almost like it is being written by a teenager, with word by word conversations and interior thoughts. But somehow it is incredibly powerful in capturing the loneliness and self-doubt of a boy who is struggling but determined to make a go of it.

This is not a story of ‘coming out’: Jonah, his family and new classmates know and are accepting of him as gay. Nor is it overtly about being Aboriginal. It is more a portrayal of the difficulties a lonely teenager faces, ashamed of his fat body and ‘man boobs’, wary and unsure of how to make new friends, and unable to verbalise his grief at losing the mother he loved so much.

This third book by award-winning author Lonesborough is a more gentle story than his last one We didn’t think it through (2023) with its themes of racism and police antagonism, and shares more with the earlier teenage love story The boy from the Mish (2021). All of Lonesborough’s books provide authentic depictions of teenage issues, they are engaging and easy to read, and will undoubtedly find a ready audience with YA readers.

Themes: Grief, Body image, Loneliness, LGBQTI+, Friendship.

Helen Eddy